This sucks.

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 22:13:58 GMT

Quick update since I don't post often...stopped BCP in January, had first period off them in February, two completely textbook cycles. Deciding to start trying the end of April, and my body decided at the same time to stop ovulating. I finally called my OBGYN in July, went in right away, had bloodwork, exam, ultrasound, everything normal. Did 10 days of Provera, got a withdrawal bleed the beginning of August. I had been charting since February and continued to chart this whole time. Still wasn't ovulating, so decided to stop charting in mid-September since I figured I may be stressing myself out too much, and I should trying "just relax"ing. Still no period. So, I called my doctor's office two weeks ago, and they made me an appointment to see the doctor and then meet with the infertility nurse. While I'm glad they're taking this seriously, and moving along about it, I was devastated. I'm only 25, I thought this would be easy. My appointment with them is this coming Tuesday.

Last weekend, DH and I went out with his best friend and the best friend's girlfriend. They've been having a lot of problems since moving in together. We'd only been out about five minutes when best friend says to me "Hey, you pregnant yet?" Unfortunately, this is not an unusual question from him. He actually told us to tell him when we start trying so he could congratulate us. Hello?!?! None of your business, you can congratulate us when we're actually pregnant, we don't need to be congratulated for having sex! Also, no one knew that we were trying, so he didn't realize how completely insensitive the question was and how sucky it would make me feel. So I said "No" hoping he would drop the subject, and his response was "Cause she is". His girlfriend is pregnant. Was on BCP and still got pregnant. They probably should have broken up a few months ago, and she's pregnant.

Now, not that I'm not happy for them, because I am. They're excited now, and very happy, their families are happy, etc. I am happy for them. I'm just so damn depressed for my husband and I. I cried all weekend long, as soon as we finished our three hours of torture with them. I was proud of myself that I only had to go to the ladies' room twice to collect myself. Tonight, hubby's at a party at other friends' house, where the best friend and girlfriend are announcing the pregnancy to the rest of the group. I couldn't go. So I'm home, feeling sorry for myself, and having anxiety about my appointment this Tuesday.

The one good thing that did come out of this is I ended up telling my mom and my sister because I was so freakin upset about it. My sister went through pretty much the exact same thing when she was trying to get pregnant...apparently BCP and women in my family don't get along very well. So, it's nice to have their support and understanding now.

Not that I think you ladies will, but just in case, please don't flame me about not being happy for our friends. I am very happy for them. I'm just feeling more sad for my husband and I. We want this so bad, and this pregnancy totally came out of left field. We will definitely support them throughout the pregnancy, we already gave them a little baby gift. I just knew I couldn't be there and be happy tonight, and I don't want my unhappiness to take away from their happiness.

And how's this for ironic? I got my first natural period since April the night after they told us they were pregnant. God said "HA" eh?

X-posted a bit.

Keeping my sanity...

This sucks.